TAPIF Waitlist + brief existentialist crisis

It was a bitter sweet moment this early afternoon when I checked my email for the 20th time today. There it was the email I was patiently waiting for since November, that would inform if I have been accepted into the Teaching Assistant Program In France for the following year. I looked at it and froze for a moment of brief shock. Then I quickly read description that begins 'We would like to inform you that you have been placed...' In a hemisphere of emotions this gave me confidence and I proceeded to open the email. At first my eyes scrambled through the entire email template, and then I finally saw it: on our waitlist. Although I was happy it was not a rejection letter. I could handle another rejection. To digress a bit, a few days ago I found out I was not accepted into grad school in England. I had already decided to not attend the school as it would have forced me into a dark abyss of debt of holding my diploma tight and crying over it while having to take extra jobs to pay off my student loans, but I wanted to politely decline the offer instead of spending days in an existential worthlessness. Being waitlisted is not the worse thing. I am planning to attend a language Program in Paris next year either way, but I still want the opportunity to teach. 

As cliché it may be, I need a year in Paris, I went before and went with a basic level of french but this time have a C1 level which will allow me to immerse myself into the culture. I also need time off from this this life I have in New York to figure out the direction I want my life to go in.